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2014 World Cup draw

Full details of the 2014 World Cup draw and all qualifying fixtures, dates, results and tables from around the world can be found here

England were drawn in Group H of European qualifying where they will face Montenegro (again), Poland, Ukraine, Moldova and San Marino

World Cup draw page

 

 

Ian Holloway quotes

Bobby Robson quotes ] Brian Clough quotes ] David Beckham quotes ] Des Lynam quotes ] Glenn Hoddle quotes ] Gordon Strachan quotes ] Harry Redknapp quotes ] [ Ian Holloway quotes ] Jimmy Greaves quotes ] Jimmy Hill quotes ] John Motson quotes ] Kevin Keegan quotes ] Mick McCarthy quotes ] Neil Warnock quotes ] Ron Atkinson quotes ] Roy Keane quotes ] Terry Venables quotes ]

“He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.” - On Cristiano Ronaldo.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

“Toad of Toad Hall ?.” - on then Chelsea manager Avram Grant.

” He’s a complete fruitcake, that bloke, isn’t he? We’ve got to be careful with him, he’s after the old crazy mantle and he’s going to win it hands down.” - on Stephen Ireland

“Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.”

Reporter: Ian, have you got any injury worries? Holloway: No, I'm fully fit, thank you.

“There was a woman in it who was quite well-endowed and two boys who used to get drunk and have a fight – it had everything for me.” - on The Dukes Of Hazzard.

In the first-half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second-half we were like Real Madrid. We can't go on like that. At full-time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell.

“I want to try and spread the support with my Bristol connection. Rovers are in the bottom division so why can’t I try and convert some of them into Argyle fans? We’re in the West Country so it’s not that far away. Only two and a half hours away in a slow car, an hour and a half in a fast one – or 10 minutes in a rocket! As long as you aimed it right, you’d be down here really quickly. Don’t land it on the pitch, though, because you’d ruin it!”

“You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.”

“You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I’m like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.”

“To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee”

“It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”

“I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.” - On the ban on players being able to take their shirts off.

“We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we’d have dealt with County’s first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands.”

“Hasney’s bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now.”  - On Hasney Aljofree

"To celebrate like that was a disgrace and I would have thrown a bottle at him myself." - Also on Aljofree, after the Plymouth man had celebrated in front of Peterborough fans and had bottles thrown at him.

“It was a bit cheeky wasn’t it? But I don’t think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he’d turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. If anybody’s offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they’re just jealous that he’s got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything.” - On Joey Barton after the midfielder had mooned the Everton fans.

“Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.” - After receiving abuse from Plymouth fans during a game with Leicester.

“When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas.” On former QPR striker Marc Nygaard.

“I’ve got to knock that horrible smell out of my boys, because they smell of complacency.”

“Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We’d never hear the end of it!”

“Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.”

“Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!”

“Have you ever seen The Incredibles? They have a a kid and he’s just so quick, like ‘WOOSH’ and he’s gone, and they call him ‘Dash’ - Waxing lyrical about Scott Sinclair.

“And I think Mr. Incredible looks like Iain Dowie."

“I am a football manager. I can’t see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis.”

Bobby Robson quotes ] Brian Clough quotes ] David Beckham quotes ] Des Lynam quotes ] Glenn Hoddle quotes ] Gordon Strachan quotes ] Harry Redknapp quotes ] [ Ian Holloway quotes ] Jimmy Greaves quotes ] Jimmy Hill quotes ] John Motson quotes ] Kevin Keegan quotes ] Mick McCarthy quotes ] Neil Warnock quotes ] Ron Atkinson quotes ] Roy Keane quotes ] Terry Venables quotes ]


 

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